Saving Me
by CSI-catie
Summary: Five years after she gets married, Sara is snapping. CH AND SUICIDE ATTEMPT!
1. Letters Speak Loudly

**A/Ns: Okay, I have WB on 'Sidle Or Grissom?', so it's on hiatus.**

**This contains character harm, IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO IS HARMING THEMSELVES, OR YOU ARE HARMING YOUR SELF, TALK TO SOMEONE. I've been there, it takes good friends to pull through, and you know you have them.**

**This is set 5 years after 'Sidle Or Grissom?', so Natale (Nat-a-lee) is 5.  
**

**For Katy, my rock:**

* * *

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, Sara Sidle thought about the exceedingly hard day she had. After seeing some of the most horrible and gruesome crime scenes (some involving children) Sara felt that she was finally snapping.

Sara looked at her watch, and realised it was 3:40pm, she was ten minutes late to pick up her five year old daughter, Natale, from her first day as a first grader.

"Shit." Sara said to herself. She grabbed her keys from the counter, and as she started to hurry to the front door, she accidentally knocked over the bottle of beer. "Shit." She repeated to herself, as she ran out the door.

**CSI:**

"Hi Mommy. Where was you?" A curious Natale asked Sara.

"I'm sorry sweetie, Mommy was uh, working. So, did you have fun?" She asked her daughter, hoping she had a good experience.

"Yeah! It was fun! I made this painting of you, me and Daddy." Natale replied, showing Sara a piece of paper, which, in Sara's opinion, looked great.

"Honey, that's so fantastic. Thank you! I can't wait to show Daddy, this is going on the fridge!" Sara said to little Natale, putting on a voice so her daughter wouldn't think she was unhappy.

**CSI:**

Walking into his office, Grissom noticed an envelope on his desk. As he put his glasses on with one hand, he picked it up, and recognized the handwriting that was used.

_Grissom,  
I'm so sorry to put you through this, this isn't how I wanted things to end.__  
Please don't let Natale forget me (if you're wondering, she's at the sitter's.)  
I love you both so much.  
I just can't do this anymore,  
This isn't how I wanted to die, but I guess I can't do anything about it.  
Love,  
Sara._

Grissom was devastated by what he was reading. He flipped open his phone and dialled Sara's cell phone number.

Nothing.

Grissom ran over to Catherine's office.

"Catherine! I need your help. It's Sara!"


	2. She Knows It

**A/Ns**

**Hey guys, thanks for reading and thanks to CSIrockz, CSIsupervisor and Phoenix-uk for adding this to their alerts.**

**Thanks for the reviews, and I must warn you:**

**THIS CONTAINS SUICIDE AND CHARACTER HARM. ****IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO IS HARMING THEMSELVES, OR YOU ARE HARMING YOUR SELF, TALK TO SOMEONE.**

* * *

Sara climbed into her Tahoe, blatantly ignoring the seat belt by the side of her seat.

She peeled out of the parking lot of the lab, not long later she was passing the Venetian hotel. Tears were rolling down her cheeks as she drove. Would people miss her? What would happen to her family?

**CSI:**

Sara parked up in the driveway of the Grissom residence, their family home.

Click. She turned the ignition off. Letting out a sigh, she got out of the car, and didn't bother to lock it up. Walking over to the front door, Sara dug her keys out from her handbag.

Click. She unlocked the front door, and went straight to the refrigerator.

Pop! She opened a bottle of wine, and poured some into a glass. She walked over the the cupboard on the wall, and opened it. Inside were bottles of Depakote, for which Grissom was prescribed for his migraines .

She took a bottle, causing a distinct rattling. She took about 10 tablets, swallowing all of them with a few sips of wine.

**CSI:**

She walked over to the couch, as she sat down, she began to cry.

Sara knew why she was doing this.

Sara knew what would most likely happen. She knew that if nobody found her, she would begin to overdose.

Sara knew how she would overdose. She had been all too familiar to this, when she had been working a crime scene.

Vomiting and becoming drowsy was just for starters.

**CSI:**

About an hour later, Sara could feel her eyelids drooping.

She was definitely overdosing and she knew it.

She sunk further onto the couch, whispering to herself "Grissom", slurring her speech.

Before she knew it, Sara passed out.

* * *

**Please review, it's my first CH/Suicide story.**


	3. Death In Slow Motion?

**A/Ns: Hey guys, I continue this sad story, but first, a warning:**

**STRONG T- THIS EXPLAINS WHY**

****

THIS CONTAINS SUICIDE AND CHARACTER HARM. IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO IS HARMING THEMSELVES, OR YOU ARE HARMING YOUR SELF, TALK TO SOMEONE.

**Thanks again to those who added this to their alerts, and those who reviewed.**

**Thanks to CSI Supervisor for helping out, and giving her views. She is wise.**

* * *

Grissom was speeding down the road, with Catherine in the passenger seat.

"Come on Sara, pick up the phone. Pick up the damn phone." He said under his breath as he anxiously listened to the dialling tone on his cellphone.

"Shit! She's not picking up." He told Catherine, as he took a shortcut through an alley.

"We'll find her Gil, we'll find her." Catherine said to Grissom, trying to comfort him. She knew that things had been hard for the Grissoms, but she had no idea that Sara was this depressed.

Grissom braked so hard outside the apartment, that they almost had whiplash. They got out and ran as fast as they could to the front door, to find it unlocked.

**CSI:**

"Sara?!" Grissom shouted, as loud as it was possible to. He ran into the living room, and saw Sara on her side, lying on the couch.

"Shit. Catherine, call 911!" Grissom ordered.

There was vomit on the couch, aswell as around Sara's mouth. He quickly put his fingers to her neck, to check her pulse.

For Catherine and Grissom, it was as if it was all in slow motion. Catherine was losing a good friend, whilst Grissom was losing his wife and the mother of his child.

"I got a pulse!" Grissom screamed out.

Both Catherine and Grissom felt a little relieved, there was a chance that Sara would survive.

**CSI:**

"Sara? Sara? It's me, Gil." He said, desperate for her to wake up, but she lay there.

Catherine walked into the kitchen.

"Grissom! Get in here!" She called out.

He ran into the kitchen, dying to know what Catherine had found.

Catherine pointed to the pill bottle, there it was on the counter. There was a half empty bottle of wine next to it.

"My Depakote. Wine? There wasn't supposed to be any alcohol in this house. Not since we found out about Sara's.." He paused for a moment, realising that they had left her unconscious.

"Shit, Sara." He said to himself, as he ran back into the living room.

He checked again for a pulse.

"Oh, thank God. She's still alive, but she's fading!" He told Catherine.

**CSI:**

About a minute later, they heard sirens.

"Emergency Services! Open up please!" It was a male voice, emerging from out side.

Catherine ran and let them in.

A couple of minutes later, they lifted Sara onto a gurney, and wheeled her outside as fast as they could.


	4. Talk To Me

**Here goes, the live or not situation.**

**IF YOU KNOW ANYONE WHO IS HARMING THEMSELVES, OR YOU ARE HARMING YOUR SELF, TALK TO SOMEONE.**

**For Katy:**

* * *

Beep.

Beep.

"Sara? I'm here Sara, it's Gil." Grissom said to a groggy Sara, having just woken from a drug induced coma.

There were tubes and wires all over her. She had an oxygen mask on, she had lost the ability to breathe whilst in the coma.

"Gil." Was all she tried to say, when she realised who it was.

**CSI:**

The doctor came in, asking Grissom wait outside.

"Hi, Mrs Grissom. I'm Dr Ryan." The doctor told Sara, as she removed the mask and checked her vitals.

"You obviously know who I am, then." Sara replied. "How long have I been in here?"

"Four days, Mrs Grissom. Look, I have to talk to you about this, and I want to help you." Dr Ryan said.

"Fine, whatever. Look, can I just be left alone?" Sara asked, she's just tried to commit suicide, she wasn't exactly wanting to see anyone.

Dr Ryan sighed, this wasn't going to be easy. "Sara, you tried to kill yourself. We need to know why."

"Does it matter? I'm here. It's over and done with." Sara was being stubborn, she didn't want to open up to some doctor she didn't even know.

"I'm sorry, Sara. You know it matters." Dr Ryan wouldn't give up that easy.

"Well.. I.. Look, I'm not going to cry my head off to some fucking shrink. If I want to talk about everything that's shit, I'll see my PEAP counsellor." Sara was becoming annoyed, she certainly wasn't in the mood.

"Sara, I'm not a shrink. I'm a doctor. I'm just trying to help you."

"You know nothing about me!" Sara said, she didn't want anybody. She felt that she didn't deserve it.

"Sara?! Please, just talk to me, it's all confidential." Dr Ryan pursued.

"I don't wanna talk. Got it?" Sara wanted to avoid talking about that day, when it all collapsed.

"Sara, can you please just try?" Dr Ryan pleaded.

Sara sat in her bed, refusing to speak. After a couple of quiet, uncomfortable minutes, Dr Ryan gave up and left, allowing Grissom to go back in.

**CSI:**

Grissom was sitting by Sara's bed. He longed to hold her hand, to put his arm around her and tell her it's alright. He couldn't, Sara wouldn't have it.

"Would you stop looking at me like that?" Sara quipped. She hated having people watching her.

"Sara, please. Just tell me why." Grissom was practically begging Sara to tell him. Recently, he had noticed that Sara was a little different lately, but he didn't think that this was going to happen.

"Fine. I.. I can't do anything. Hell, I can't even commit suicide right." Sara began to cry, at which Grissom put his arm around her, and held her, no matter how much Sara tried to pull away.


End file.
